Hi,
Am sorry to read your post and to see how hard this is for you. It is difficult to remain supportive I know and it might be that you would like some support for yourself.
The Icarus Trust is a charity that provides support for people in the same kind of situation as you, that are dealing with a partner or family member’s addiction. We have trained and experienced people you could talk with. They would understand how you are feeling and maybe help you to make sense of it all.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck with everything.