My husband hid his cocaine addiction from me for 5 years. His life has dramatically changed, he’s lost everything from that crap! His job, his self respect, his morals he’s up to his eyes in debt and now has a criminal record for taking someone’s car and driving it intoxicated to fetch more coke! He still has me and the kids for now, although I’ve sent him to live 3 hours away with his mum. I’m still working at getting him clean but if he decides he doesn’t want to I’ll have no choice but to end things completely. Only time will tell.
I was strict in the beginning and I used to throw him out, threaten to leave and it just made his behaviour worse. Now if I’m nice he seems more willing to look at getting clean. However in the past when his use was more frequent like 4 days a week he was vile! It wouldn’t have mattered if I was nice or horrible, so what I’m trying to say is that there is nothing you can do I’m sorry to say. I wouldn’t be enabling him with money or letting him stay at yours if he gets to that point, however I realise that he’s your son and it’s much tougher when it’s your kids. Or maybe make sure he’s safe but that’s it! Apparently they have to think that the drugs are causing more harm using than not. Unfortunately I think it takes a lot for them to get to that point!