Hi All
I am in the same position of most of you guys.
Been with husband for 12 years married 2.5
Found out in Dec 17 he had been taking cocaine daily /crack on occasions.
3 months is hell on earth and he came back home full of promises but never stopped notthat I knew.
Told me the house we had worked so hard to get and do up was a trigger and I believed him and we sold 50k profit which he has half of (well what he will have left)
He left ME in Nov saying all what you have said, love but not in love, I am abusive, controlling, he was never happy etc.
Seen him few times Nov and Dec but after many rows he came xmas eve and said he had hurt his FAMILY to much and his job was important (after losing 2) and he wanted a divorce and walked out, he left me say there in stunned silence, all Xmas I sat on my own till 2 nd Jan!
He had txt to say he has changed and not a nice person and if I want a future divorce him.
The last 2 months I have believed it was all my fault and though if all the what I could have, should have said etc.
The man I married is dead he doesn’t exist!
He was using 100+ a day and the last time he was here he had a psychotic episode saying the devil was after him etc, he had never done it in front of me but this time he was too far gone!
We dint have kids which is a blessing although that was the plan when we got married as he is 42 and I am 40 so 2 years ago after getting our careers etc that was our plan but he chose drugs!!
After speaking to his sister he was an addict in his 20’s(someone could have told me!!) so him saying he was unhappy is a load of bull as he was already an addict and this was always going to happen.
Since he has gone I have found out he has done it all along for the 12 years but everyday for the last 2 years, also found dating sites on laptop all the usual which seems we have all been through.
This guy was as perfect as could be, a gentleman etc and respectful so I am mourning the loss of my husband, if he had died it would be final but this situation is horrendous!
I agree I worry he will meet someone else and they will get the good guy and he will believe he is happy but it will happy again and again.
I move into a new house next week me and the dog, he is god knows where as he has completely shut me out and disappeared.
Day by day that’s what I am doing.
He said for me to get a divorce, that convenient I have to pay for it so he gets to keep his money for his coke!
He can do it and I don’t care what reasons he gives as long as he pays for it.
Sorry for the rant????