B9898, it’s such a hard one isn’t it! This issue about women really upsets me too and I have exactly the same fear that he will move on find someone else and change for them, but the reality is that unless they are a user as well I think he may struggle! I have begun to worry that my ex is putting feelers out too! I don’t get his behaviour at all!
He took me to pick my car up from the garage at 4.30 this evening. We talked about our son for most of the drive and then I asked how his non smoking was going. He said badly, he also said he was still doing weed but then point blank calmly denied using any cocaine since his birthday!!! What a crock of shit! He went to Amsterdam for New Years Eve and has been to a few raves and Christmas parties where everyone was doing it! I don’t see how someone who had a £700 a month addiction can give it up cold turkey! Plus his behaviour around my kids (sleeping all day Sunday whilst he had contact with his boys!) says otherwise! I really pulled his chain and said he was a miracle and that he should write a book and share his wisdom with other addicts as I had never heard of someone giving it up without rehab!
Calmly, I am so so sorry this has happened to you! I and B9898 have had exactly the same although our husbands don’t appear to love us at all. I know what you are going through that utter pain and disbelief in the loss of your best friend and soulmate. It is the worst drug for sure for changing the personality. If it helps, I have read a lot of medical papers on the effect of cocaine on the brain and it changes then by blocking the dopamine receptors. That’s where you get the normal fuzzy loving feelings from when you get a kiss from someone you love or a hug.They aren’t lying when they say they are not in love with us, they’re not in love with anyone other than Mistress Charlie!
Oh my son’s poorly I will write again in a bit! xx