Oh Cally that is awful! I pretty much had the same but as we have kids he has to keep me sweet otherwise I could stop his contact (my son found his drugs and I had to deal with social services but they didn’t do anything as they said I was a protective factor and closed the case) I think I would rather not have to see him as it is like dealing with invasion of the body snatchers every time I see him!
I think my ex has a new woman, she’ll be a user for sure. My friend asked me how I felt about it and I was surprised to say devastated and relieved. Devastated because I loved him once so much, but relieved as because in a way it makes it final and I can draw a line under it all.
Where do you live? I am Essex (but I don’t have a fake tan and false eyelashes ????) if you are nearby we could meet for a coffee, it sounds like you need a big hug and to talk to someone who really knows what you are going through. I know a couple of friends who are divorced but it’s a bit of a different situation with the drugs and nobody else I know has walked in my shoes the way others on this forum have. To be honest this keeps me sane!
Although I am learning my own worth and have developed a sense of humour which makes me laugh at the craziness of it all.
For what it’s worth, when they are coming down they feel like shit. Don’t try and assume anything about him. They think the grass is greener but it isn’t, and at the end of the day we have our health.
Let me know if you are nearby and we can meet up. Big hugs babe and don’t go through this alone. I feel for you as you have lost a lot of dreams xx