Please don’t take the nasty things he says to you to heart. My husband told me in Feb last year that because I always said “ if you love me you wouldn’t keep using drugs” he now thought “maybe I don’t love her” which is so stupid when he showers me with love usually. Plus the week before that I threatened to leave him and take the kids and he fell to his knees crying hysterically begging me not to go. It wasn’t for the kids, as I said he could see them as much as he liked. Plus I know it’s an awful thing but my husband I believe has always favoured me over our children. That’s what I mean, my husband doted on me and everyone else agrees too. On reflection now, he says deep down you know you love people but you push them away because it’s easier, no more arguments, no more being thrown out. Then you kid yourself that single life will be the best life, you can take all your drugs and won’t have to hide them and do as you please. But my husband said when you come down you know you still love that person and feel bad about what you’ve done, so you mask it with more drugs and so the circle continues.
Have you ever thought about saying to your husband you still want to be with him as you love him and you believe deep down he loves you, remind him of good times. Tell him that you’ll be there for him when he chooses to live another life, and if he wants help in trying to stop you’ll be there to help him. Tell him that everything he’s done in the past is irrelevant and you forgive his actions because you know they were due to drugs?
By suggesting this I certainly don’t mean excusing things he’s done and those things will never be forgotten, but it may help you to know that at least you’ve reached out. If he declines at least you know you made the effort. One day you never know he might choose the right path. Xx