Hi bluebell- yes he messaged today asking why I’d blocked him on Instagram, I told him that I hadn’t but had deleted my account for a bit. He then text saying he loved me and the kids more than anything but he can’t go on like this anymore. I just replied “ well only you can change your life”’ I went out with colleagues and had afternoon tea, I didn’t give him much thought, as it could be manipulation, hopefully he’s not being serious. Then he asked if he could speak to the kids, I said of course. Funny though he hasn’t asked to speak to them for the first two weeks he was there, now as soon as I end our relationship he wants to speak to them.
He did phone and started crying his eyes out on the phone. I do feel sorry for him, but this time something is different in me, I’m too angry at him to want to do anything about it. Plus I do believe that me bailing him out is prolonging him being ill!
I’d try and leave your husband to it bluebell- just blank him, don’t ask him for anything, if you suspect he’s using, stop him from seeing his kids, see how much he is willing to fight to see them. See since I went to al anon I’ve realised how a lot of our behaviour is keeping them from ever getting better. Apparently they need to be so miserable on the drugs that they need to choose a better lives for themselves, even little things like you asking for his help is giving him reason to not seek change. Try al anon, I’ve only been once so far but a lot of it makes sense xx