Update. He’s been out a few times over the last few weeks one he came home drunk at 4am. The other he stayed out for fifteen hours. Called me on the way home and said he’d been to London. Then later it’s somewhere else. After wasting hours in bed on Sunday he is violently sick, Nothing unusual but he’s telling me there’s something wrong as he’s sicking blood. He won’t go to the doctors.
Today he called me at work saying that he’s moving out next week as he doesn’t love me and doesn’t know why, he feels uncomfortable. He also feels guilty and cannot stop crying as he says he knows how much he’s hurting me but cannot help how he’s feeling., He cannot explain how he went from loving me so much and couldn’t live without me to nothing. When I asked about the welfare of his animals he says that he doesn’t care when he’s losing humans in his life. He says that he will continue the renovations on our house and will give me money each month because he won’t let me go without financially. Why bother about me?
I have spoken to him and he now swears on his dads life that he hasn’t been abusing cocaine only alcohol. He says that about four years ago he had been on it for a while but it didn’t affect his mind at the time. He admitted that he kept that away from me. Now he takes a tiny bit to keep him going when drinking.
What do you think? I’m at a loss.
I was brave earlier and told him to leave as I was so angry and upset about him telling me he was moving out, in fact giving me notice. But then I relented, I couldn’t bear to see him so upset and told him not to go, even though to see him upsets me and to be apart does also. He says that he fully understands if I hate him and he deserves all he gets. He hopes that he is sent to prison in a few months when the trial goes ahead as he wants to distance himself from everyone and all around him but when asked he says he’s not worried about the prospect of going to court.
I’m going to be upset next week when he moves out but I think I have got slightly braver. We have talked more today than we have in months regretfully not to a happy ending.