Hi Cally, I’m sorry you had all this to deal with. Do you want my truthful opinion? He’s been caught out. He’s reverted back to any tactic he thinks may work in order to manipulate you. Do you really buy that he is flatmates with this girl? Stop for a second, take a deep breath and listen to what your heart is telling you. You already know what you need to do about this situation. He’s feeling guilty, his behaviour is erratic, he’s doing coke and now found a young fellow partaker. Whatever is going on there, it isn’t right! You deserve so so much better, on that point I would agree with him! I know it is so so hard babe, I’ve been there and worn the T shirt. My ex wants to have a “sesh” with me tomorrow. This means drink alcohol and try and manipulate me into staying in his life as although he doesn’t want me he doesn’t want to let go either.
Neither of our exes want to change. They left for a reason. I know it is so so painful to accept but actions speak louder than words. This situation is only going to end in more pain. My ex fessed up to taking coke on Friday last night and then accused me of having him followed he is so paranoid! I envy you in that you do not have children with your ex and can walk away and start afresh! I have to see mine and it is awful, it’s not good for my kids when he is hanging out his backside either. I daydream about moving and not telling him where we’ve gone!
You need to start doing things for you. I know it is difficult to hear, and I have been in your shoes desperately clinging onto hopes and dreams. Nothing dies more slowly or painfully than the death of our dreams. I remember you saying you didn’t have much support. If you fancy coming down to snowy Essex (yep snowing at the mo!) can I suggest you hop on a coach and come and escape from it down here? You can talk to me and vent it all out, swap stories of the bizarre over a bottle of prosecco and write a list of all the things that you are going to do for yourself. I have been very lucky by having a load of great friends whopping my arse to see sense. Sounds like you need someone to listen and let you get it all off your chest. I’ve got a spare room, you are welcome to stay and my two boys are very well behaved (most of the time ????) The offers there if you want to. Sending big hugs xx