Thanks bluebell means a lot.
I will definitely take you up on that offer, no one understands unless they have been through it.
When I spoke to his sister earlier she did act shocked when I said they are together as she has been to the flat and said they are flat mates sharing bills but he lies to everyone they have no idea how bad he is as he hides it well.
His sister told me the girl has left as she was upset to see me crying as the girl txt her, why would she txt his sister if she is just a flat mate all very bizarre.
Find it so strange, it’s not that I am jealous far from it I just find it quite disturbing at his age either way if nothing happening or it is it’s jus not right either way!
He has told me many times his family hate me, I said this to his sister today and she was angry she said I have never said that in fact she has always said she wishes she was more like me, strong and take no shit (not at the moment ????)
I suppose I am just heartbroken all this has happened, I have tried to see it is the drugs but emotions just take over.
I am seeing a councillor and she says the same, I have to mourn the dreams I have lost and at the moment it’s irrelevant about the drugs as my emotions only see my husband has left me which makes sense.
I feel for you as you are tied to him with the kids, so I should be happy really I can just walk away which I will but just hard at the moment.
I move house tomorrow on my own me and the dog so I am hoping this will be my fresh start.
I hated drugs anyway before all this and I detest them now, they are the work of the devil. The people taking them do not realise how many people they hurt for every drug addict suffering there must be 10+ people in the background suffering but got no drugs to hide behind and when the shit hits the fan the addict gets all the help and becomes the victim (sorry if that offends anyone trying to recover), makes no bloody sense.
He had 30k when he left in Nov he now has 17k left, if he says 17 you can bet it is less!!
I think if he was down and out no job and no money it would make sense to me but as he is still functioning (for now) just feels like a kick in the teeth.
Then I feel guilty that I want him to lose everything but I think for someone like him that is the only way now.
Just so sad.
Cally.x