AmeliaJane I can completely empathise with your situation. My children are now 21 and 23, but if I am honest they bear the scares of witnessing a parent detached by drink. My view was keeping the family together was paramount,, but on reflection I am not sure it was. My daughter would write letters to her dad telling him how scared she was of his drinking and craving a relationship with him. He did not even acknowledge it. She is now going to counselling as she has a real trust problem with boys and does not feel she is worthy – and she is gorgeous inside and out! It breaks my heart. So to be honest if your relationship has broken down as you say, sleeping separately, what message might that send to the children?. I feel I was too tolerate of his unacceptable behaviour, and it progressed and then affected his whole personality, changing him for affable to angry and manipulative. Perhaps inadvertently I created an environment that enabled him to continue pretending to the outside world he had it together. Yes it is an illness, but yes it is so selfish and destructive. If I had my time again, although I love/d him I think we should of separated. I do hope you are getting some support, because it can get inside your head and is emotionally exhausting, second guessing his next move. I survived through talking to good friends, mindfulness and counselling. I spent so much time worrying about him, stopping the boat from rocking for the children, keeping things calm. I sense you must do that too. Dig deep you are strong, but think that maybe You deserve better.
