I understand now.
A form of manipulation, your fault because you were too soft. So he decided to smoke weed and snort coke. This does mess with your mind and in some cases you have no feelings for anyone or anything anymore. I am witness to this in my household.
To get money to fund his lifestyle he manipulates you into giving him money. That in turn has now given him mental health problems so in his manipulative mind its your fault that you were soft, your fault that you gave him money and your fault he has mental health problems. The docs can’t help, so you have to pay for his ‘medication’. Sorry for this, my previous relationship before my husband was with someone that was a master of manipulation that drove me mad and made me paranoid for years. I do empathise with your situation.