Hi LemonySnicket
Only you can tell if you are doing the right thing, I have a son who is a cocaine addict and that is a whole other story! but my ex-husband is a gambling addict. Addiction is the same whatever, My ex and I were together for nearly 30 years and I always thought he gambled but I was made to feel that it was in my head, the lies, deception and manipulation is incredible. He only ever admitted it one time which is when I searched and found evidence so he couldn’t deny it… We have had to sell houses, and my parents bailed him out, he also took out loans and cards in my name. After this we had a good couple of years where I think he had got it under control but then the money started disappearing and court demands started to arrive and HMRC and VAT and cards and loans… He swore blind it was not down to gambling but something snapped, I had to safeguard what was left in equity and give my 4 children a stable environment to live in. I left him and for the next 2 years I tried to help, gave him numbers and meetings, said I would support him but he told me he didn’t need it as he didn’t gamble anymore… I am now divorced, I got 49% of what was left in equity and my ex had 51% which included his debts being paid off, he lived in a flat with no mortgage and I bought a house with the help of my parents and mortgaged up to my eyeballs to house the 4 children, My ex declared bankruptcy 2 years ago after having sold his flat and gambling the proceeds but he is still adamant he does not have a problem! It took me about 3 years to see that I had done the right thing by leaving, the guilt I felt for breking up my family was huge but he is till an addict and still in denial. What people don’t see is that you are heartbroken too. I am fine now and stand by my decision. So Lemony Snicket, listen to your gut and do what is right by you and your children, only you can make that decision … Good luck and stay strong xxx