Thank you rlg21. I have to act and both my brain and gut are saying the same. I’ve got lots of good advice today, both here and in the real world. A trusted friend has spoken to a solicitor friend of hers for me and I’ve got a list of tasks for tomorrow including changing the beneficiary of my pension and even my parents’ wills (and his) to help avoid any money going to him. I’m calling StepChange tomorrow, and a divorce solicitor who another friend has recommended.
My husband hasn’t even found out about the court summons yet. He works away during the week and is back tomorrow afternoon.
I’m not looking forward to telling him. I hope he understands that I love him and support his recovery, we all do, but that he has to sort out this mess himself if he even thinks we can have any chance of any sort of future together. I don’t think he’s in denial, or using, but I do think that he is not following the 12 step programme and focusing enough on his recovery or all of this would be known to me long ago.