Hi Debbie, thanks for your reply. Just want to point out one thing, it is not your fault. I got used to being the one to blame for him using very early on. I realised I wasn’t and in fact only he is responsible for what he does. If I had that kind of power I’d be akin to God! Addicts get very good at blame and manipulation I’ve found. My partner will start a fight or argument over nothing just to justify his using. It’s stupid. I’ve grown wise to a lot of ways they go about transferring blame. They never take responsibility. I can relate, I used to justify recreational use as my way of coping. It wasn’t, because it didn’t help. It made me on the same level as him. And it took me away from my kids and my life. They need me more than I needed to use to cope. So I found other ways to cope, like being in control of my own life to benefit my kids. Luckily I’m not an addictive person as it was very short lived but it did give me insight into the choices made and how they logically apply it daily. I hope this makes sense. I used to think he had an easy life, easy way out. Wrong. He is simply rose tinting life but it’s all fake, pretend. He will realise how much he missed in that haze he called life.
I have tried and tried and never given up but he just continues his path of destruction. I don’t know how else or what else to try.
Keep your chin up and remember you can’t control his behaviour and your certainly not to blame. X
O