Hey
This is the first time I’m going to be 100% honest with anyone about my codeine addiction. I’m 26 and I work 12hr shifts at a hospitals A&E department. I work both day and night shifts, sometimes switching between the two in a very short period of time.
I was first given codeine 2 years ago by my GP for undiagnosed hip pain (which still isn’t sorted at all). I started on a low dose and thought nothing of it, then one day when I had severe pain, I took more than normal and you all know what happens after that! Now 2 yrs down the line, I’m taking between 600-800mg a day. It’s got to the point that I’m taking them to stay up for night shifts, taking them to be able to cope with a job I hate and the fact that I’m in a lot of debt that I’ve currently burried my head in the sand about.
I’ve considered suicide many times, the only thing that’s stopped me is knowing that my debt will be left to my mother if I did off myself.
I want to sort out my life, I want to get better. My attendance at work has taken a massive hit, and I’ve become less able to control my temper and attitude both and work and home. I know that to get a new job, I have to improve my attendance and to do that, I have to kick the codeine. I’ve tried to go cold turkey so many times. But even after not taking any codeine for 10 hrs, I’ve got severe diarrhoea, back and muscle pains and complete lack of energy to do absolutely anything.
The worst part of my addiction is yet to come. If I can’t get codeine from my GP, I have taken it from work. I already have anxiety but now I’m anxious that I’m going to get caught or I’ve been caught. I can’t live like this anymore! It’s killing me.
My partner of 3 years knows that there’s something up and I’ve told him about the codeine withdrawal, but he has no idea how much I take, or where I get it sometimes.
I’ve read through this feed and heard some really good points and some really brave stories from some really genuine people. I’m not a bad person, I want to go to uni and get a degree in mental health nursing. I don’t want to give the rest of my life to this addiction.
Does anyone have any advice for a really lonely sufferer?