Thank you for your messages. I do hope that in some small way I can help others feel less alone, as you have done for me. My husband is home again now after having been away and had time to reflect on things – he feels, as I do, that we are still worth fighting for.
Trainer28, you are right that it can sometimes take all of your strength and focus to support an alcoholic partner. And you’re not sure if you did let people know this was happening, whether they would judge you or try to understand. It took me a very long time to open up to family and friends about this problem. Of course they were shocked and saddened by it, and didn’t fully understand it – nor did I when I first came to realise that my husband was an alcoholic. When I look back, I was eaten up with stress and anxiety so much that I wasn’t thinking straight myself, and did a lot of things that didn’t help, or at least weren’t going to change our situation.
Over time we’ve all been learning together about this awful illness, but still it’s difficult for other people to truly understand and know how they would act unless you’re living through it like we are. The things that have helped me the most are forums like this, and going to family support meetings, so I can learn more myself and find comfort in feeling I’m not alone.
I know what you mean when you say you feel selfish for being relieved about how long he’s stayed sober – believe me I’ve been there too – but please don’t feel that way. You can be pleased for him and for yourself, enjoying the changes his sobriety has no doubt brought you.