Hi, my son is in his early 30s but has been using cocaine on and off for approx 10 years. This has resulted in two relationship breakdowns. He has two children, one with each, eldest 11 yrs old. He has had periods of not being able to see his kids and just recently he is back in touch with them. I know exactly where you are coming from. My son moved back in with us for a time, we thought we had got him sorted and back on track but as soon as he started earning again he got confident and started using again. Like you it was very difficult to know when he was using or not as he obviously hid it from us. They say that when using their pupils enlarge but we struggled to notice this. His behaviour was always erratic i.e. one minute loud and confident, next grumpy and tired. Next day he would be sniffing a lot too. Eventually my son went self employed but couldn’t even maintain this and kept letting people down. He is now living with someone and I haven’t seen him since November 18. He ignores calls, texts for months on end and then we may get the odd text i.e. he sent me a text last week saying Happy Mother’s Day!! Like you we can’t talk to him about ‘coke’ as we think he is denying using but there is no other reason why the long periods of no contact. All we can say is that unless your son wants to quit there is little you can do. We have supported our son when he went to a drug counselling service and other groups but he never stuck at it. We also tried counselling ourselves which may help you deal with it. Look up your local NHS mental health/drug addiction service and ask about support for family members. I have watched one of Louise Clarke’s videos on YouTube and bought the book. It helped me understand more and I told my son I could help him but he didn’t respond. Hope this helps and good luck. Any other questions just ask. Danman also has good advice and gives hope for quitting but like he said they have to want to quit.
