Hi Jess how you doing ?
I’m a recovering addict myself and see it from your partners side I fully understand addiction altho I’ve never been an alcoholic.
My advice to you altho I feel for your partner and his situation is that you need to be away from him, you can only help him if he wants to get clean and he wants the help
It’s worrying that he’s abusive there is no excuse for abuse wether it’s verbal or physical I would never dream of abusing my wife in any way no matter how “smashed” I was or wasn’t no matter if she caught me on a lie and also no means no especially in the bedroom altho you are partners and obviously be openly sexual with each other if you say no then you are not giving consent and if you are not giving consent then that legally is called rape and I really am sorry to read what you’re going thru.
I hope you’re okay
You need to do what’s best and safe for you and your kids
Keep us posted