Hi There,
I’m so sorry to read your story. It must be very stressful and emotionally draining to watch your husband drinking when you know what harm he is doing to himself. Please don’t blame yourself – he does have an illness and hopefully he can get help for himself.
I am sorry to read about your panic attacks and wonder if you would like to get some help for yourself.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We support people who are going through what you are, coping with the addiction of a partner or family member. We have experienced trained people, and if you contact us I can put you in touch with one of them. Maybe talking with someone who knows what you are going through might help and they would be able to let you know what other help is available to you.
I am sorry to read about your panic attacks and wonder if you would like to get some help for yourself.
Good luck with everything.