Can I just ask, has she always been like this or is it something that’s happened over time?
I ask because I try and support my OH and try and encourage him to get/stay clean. It goes round in cycles. He binges, then he’s sorry and says he’s done with it usually when he’s no money left, he stays clean for a week or 2 max and all the while I’m putting 100% into helping him, supporting him, even changing things to remove triggers and then he goes and does it again. I’ve noticed that the reason I get mad and upset is because I truelly believed that was it, fresh start and it all unravels again so I feel let down and like I’ve wasted time and effort and failed him even.
And to make it worse I’m keeping myself away from doing stupid things and I think he’s not interested in staying clean yet I’m able to so why can’t he? Makes me angry and on the odd occasion I feel like doing the same as him since he doesn’t have to quit. Cant have support for myself from him because that would be an obvious trigger for him so i have to cope on my own but help him at the same time. I’m just annoyed. Really annoyed. I give him tools and support to quit but it’s not enough. So now it comes back to why I asked – I feel like I shouldn’t be giving him support and encouragement because he has thrown it back in my face soooo many times and that’s also not fair because now I’m the bad person.
This prob makes no sense but if it does I hope it helps you understand from another view