You are not misreading the situation and you are not being unreasonable. You want the best for your wife and boy.
My sister (k) has always had a problem with drink. Hiding bottles and drinking whisky out of a cup. She was always drunk, abusive and violent toward her husband and myself.
To cut it short her husband had had enough. Told her to leave the marital home and her son. Having nothing left she turned it round with help from my sister (l) and myself. Got her to an AA meeting and she immediately knew she was an alcoholic, not someone with a drink problem but an alcoholic. She goes to one meeting a week now and gets support from there. It is working. She is back at home now and so far it is looking good.