I fee exactly the same. I can sit here doing cocaine without a care for my partner upstairs. Trust us he isn’t doing it deliberately to upset you. We’re creatures of habit, that we can’t escape. Your boyfriend sounds exactly like I feel. And behaves exactly like myself. My own gf never realised how I was behaving though, I have/had an urge to get caught. I want her to know. To the point when I told her. I literally grabbed her in the middle of the night one night and told her what I had been doing. I woke her up at 3am thinking if I shared this problem then that would be it. She still thinks I’m clean. I love coke more than anything. It’s weird. More than my own family. It beholds me when I think about it. I can’t get the feeling out of my head. And I must do it. I’ve been a meeting once and could talk. So this I guess is my confession. My cry for help. Does anyone want to chat? Now she thinks I am clean. I still can not control my addiction. It’s unbearable. I’ve read books and watched tv programs about people with addiction and it’s unreal. It’s a real problem. Bigger than cancer I think. We just don’t get the same press. We dont anything deliberately. Please can someone chat?
