Hi Kindredcoyote
i think youd benefit from speaking to a counsellor that specialises in this – I did and it helped me understand.
The thing is, when they tell you they want to stop and make promises they do mean it at the time, but the addiction takes over.. again and again and again.
If i am completely honest, I wouldn’t start a family with someone with a cocaine addiction as this is an awful vicious cycle that will continue to repeat itself and when kids are in the middle its awful, they will end up hurting too, like you are now.
if he doesn’t physically go and get help I would walk away as nothing will change, you’ll drive yourself insane.. you will end up ill, like many of us on here.
Cocaine comes first, its their safety blanket, threatening giving ultimatums doesn’t work – believe me i have tried.
Its hard to accept and understand but its the sad truth, once it really gets them and they dont even really want to stop you cannot do anything accept sit and watch them self destruct and get left with absolutely nothing or walk away and you will find happiness.
J Betty is right – its a disease, most of the time incurable – well they say its incurable and it can only be ‘managed’ but not sure on that really, but i do know it takes a hell of a lot to stop, and by the sounds of it your partner is in deep.
Literally if he isn’t willing to go beg his GP for help or whatever you cant do nothing – its horrible to accept but that will come first, no matter what.
Lots of people on here have made the choice to walk away, i would say read through some threads as i found them so helpful, it makes you realise how bad this really can get.
HE needs to want to stop you wanting him to will never work.
I wish you well.. you deserve happiness. xx