My husband of fourteen years decided to up his cocaine and alcohol use to block out a court case that had been going on for years. Instead of talking to me about it he chose to lie telling me everything was ok and he was sorting everything out.
In the past he would use it rarely in social situations which were few and far between. I wouldn’t have noticed if his personality hadn’t changed so dramatically from my loving, hardworking husband to an absolute arse hole. Sniffing coke changed him. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights he’d go to friends that partake in the dreaded stuff and not return till the following day. He would go to bed on his return for the rest of the day only getting out bed to be sick after the come down.
He would lie and say he had flu. You can’t have flu for a year. Sniffling, sicking up blood, aching bones and muscles, constant headaches, I can go on. I told him to go to the doctors as he needed to get blood tests as he couldn’t be so ill for so long. Guess who refused. Cocaine wasn’t a problem for him only me.
He continued to use after leaving me.
Friends have spoken to me since telling me of the dramatic changes they have seen in him. He tells them he is looking after me financially but he isn’t They advised me that he hadn’t been going to work. So my revelations were not a surprise. He lies all the time. Only his ‘coke friends’ accept his behaviour as normal.
It’s now post trial. I went everyday supporting him. But every night he would go back to the coke and the ‘coke friends’ I would see glimmers of my old husband and then he would disappear.
I’m now trying to cope with my income. I’m trying to run his business too whilst he is away. I get no thanks. Not that I want any, recognition would suffice. The twice a day phone calls have stopped now he has his ‘friends’ numbers.
I do love my husband but he died the day he chose the coke and alcohol. He is now a monster that I despise and have no respect for because of the constant lies and deception.