Hi Peartree Girl,
Thank you so much for posting. I’ts really sad to read how hard life is for you right now. It does sound like you could do with talking with someone who would understand what you are going through.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust, that offers support to people who are in similar situations to yourself. Please contact us and you can talk with one of our experienced trained people. Talking might help you to know what to do next as well as finding out what other support is available to you.
You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck. I hope you can get some help.