Hope your alright. Im in the same situation as you with coke. I cant stand the stuff anymore. But im doing my best to stop. Ive laspsed a couple times this year. 1st was after 2 month.
Ive got a gf and kids and i didnt want to lose it all. I have the worse comedowns from it. Even thoughts of suicide now and again. And it takes me about 4 days to fully come out of depression mode.
I ve been lapsing about once a month. But you seem to be having more than me, but that dont matter we are both addicts.
1st its great you want to stop. Do you drink before you get the coke? Or have it soba? Alcohol is a main trigger for coke.
Soo.. these are the things i really reccomend to do to help you stop.
1. Delete all dealers nums out your phone, friends and even family who you have it with, delete all social media.
2. Avoid all trigger points eg.. corner shop were you picked up, friends, pubs.
3. Dont drink any alcohol!
4. Look up.. emotional, mental and physical relapse.this will prepare you for a lapse.and how to prevent it.
5. And the main thing to help you and this will help with your anxiety and depression is to change your life and routine around. Start doing new hobbies.. long walks.. reading.. swimming.. gym.. crafts with your children.. anything you want. So starting from monday say.. do 1 weeks worth of planning on a calander and cross each day off. And plan each day. Around work if you work. Do you work? How many kids you got and have you got a partner?
Remember when you wake up.. just tell yourself.. for today only you will stay clean. Take 1 day at a time. Dont do it for your kids. Do it for yourself! Everything else will fall into place when you are in a much better place.