Thanks for replying and I’m glad it helps you feel less alone. After suffering with acute stress, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s nothing I can do for him personally but only look after myself and the children, we are not here to look after people who won’t take care of themselves.
When he makes positive steps I encourage him and help him get to meetings or whatever I can do in a practical sense. He is hopefully going to do a detox in summer so I have been to a funding meeting for that with him but I can’t do anymore than that, he has to do the rest.
I don’t know about couples counselling because, as you say, it’s only half the person there when drugs are involved so it might be a waste of time? It’s the connection that I miss.
Unfortunately the drugs will always come first before us and I don’t know how long people can deal with that for. If you need personal support or help then google Icarus. Also, you could encourage him to go to his local drugs and alcohol service.
Take care x