Hey
I was in your position, its the worst thing ever.. youre not alone and i do feel for you.
How long have you been together?
Until he admits his problems to everyone who cares about him and seeks proper support from the doctor, the cycle will continue. He will relapse, do drugs, promise he will change/have mental health problems/cry and then relapse, this happened to me for months and months. My bf was self medicating his anxiety after a horrendous divorce.
I wont go into it too much, but you really sound so naive about the situation – drinking is a trigger, its all linked. It doesnt matter how much he is doing, if hes doing 1 gram or 5 grams, hes an addict.
He will REALLY want to stop and he will be ashamed, but the urge and the addiction will be too much. It took me months and months to understand and thank god i found this group as it helped me so much.
Sounds bad, but he will need to hit rock bottom, something needs to happen to make him realise, him hiding it from you and his family isnt good..
I wish i had some positive advice for you, but until he admits his addiction to you this will continue.. he needs to really really want it, addiction is a disease and its so hard for someone to understand that isnt an addict. I used to get so frustrated and used to shout and scream at his but that will only make it worse and will give him an excuse to use.
what you must understand is that addiction cant just be cured overnight, its a hard battle and it tears relationships apart, its heartbreaking.. but ultimatums etc, he will choose the cocaine.
You need to ensure youre protecting yourself – keep yourself mentally strong and dont let this take over your life.
my partner hasnt relapsed in 6 months.. he does addiction counselling, once a week, its £60 but its brilliant – it isnt a magical cure though, the person needs to WANT to give up.. or it will not work.
he needs to go to the doctor and beg for help, but obviously if you arent even speaking about it then its a long road ahead, and what you need to this is, is this worth it? as it will just continue, and its mentally draining.. it made me ill but we have ties so i couldnt just leave. xx