Thanks so much for your message and I’m sorry you’re struggling.
I think he does want to get help, but I think he’s scared to dive right in and face it… which is understandable.
He doesn’t actually drink too much, we’ve been avoiding quite a bit and it’s seemed to have been working. Like I said in the last post, it was the pub that was the trigger. When he’s at home and having a glass of wine he’s ok. I agree with changing the routine up. I’m trying to get him into a new hobby but we’ve had a few holidays recently and so think he wants to focus on getting back into work first. Before he met me he said (when we started talking about it more) that he was doing it nearly everyday and you can imagine the amount he spent. Now he has been relapsing (small amounts) every 2-3 weeks.
Another trigger I’ve noticed is that if I’m not there. Tonight I have dinner with friends and he called me to let me know he’s struggling today. I asked him if he wanted me to go home instead but he said no. I did think in the back of my head that this might happen, but I also need to not let him become dependant on me – for both him and me – I need my independence and life. I do think it’s a good sign that he called and volunteered that information, he wants to be honest about it because I’ve asked him to.
I’m glad that you’ve found a way to help – I stopped drinking for a year a couple of years ago and found that reading other’s stories etc helped me a lot. I think my boyfriend is the opposite – he wouldn’t want to delve in fear that it would just all consume him if that makes sense?
How are you feeling now?