get some cocaine tests from amazon and test him, as he could be lying – they are good liars.
i went through this too (still am) just less now.
addicts are brilliant manipulators and make you feel like youre going mad – youre absolutely not. It took me 6 months to start trusting again, the thought of no trust and panicking when they dont answer the phone is horrendous, it makes me feel sick thinking about it. I used to think it was my fault i wasnt good enough etc
its hard to stay calm isnt it? i have learnt that there is no point getting angry because it has the opposite affect.
my bf lapsed again on wednesday last week after 6 months, sometimes i think, wow, is this going to be my life forever..
my bf tends to lapse when things get tough, his anxiety builds up, hes addiction counselling has helped though, as he used to lapse every 2 weeks, he went 6 months without drink or drugs.
I feel so sorry for anyone going through this, its absolute HELL.
sending love to you allxx