Hi thanks for that. We’ve been getting along so well lately. He’s 4 and a half months clean. We have attended marriage counselling and the marriage counsellor seems to think all my husbands behaviour is acting out. It’s finding the reason why he started acting out in the first place so we can tackle that, although he seems to think it’s unresolved issues from his childhood.
I think the cocaine addiction made our relationship toxic so in his drug fuelled mind he was looking to escape. Women were a distraction, but I don’t think he would cheat. Although at times if it came down to me or the coke when he was deep in his addiction, he’d choose the coke. So if women started showing him attention, he started flirting I think to make himself feel better, because he knew what he was doing was wrong, but couldn’t stop! Plus he’s also said deep in his addiction he blamed me for everything wrong with himself, that way he didn’t have to stop and look at what he was doing.
The drug was mainly controlling him at times, now I know, no matter what I’d have done wouldn’t have worked. I guess they have to reach that point for themselves. I left him for a week with no contact and he was hysterical. He said he’d finally realised that I was being serious and it terrified him. So all the times I chased him, only enabled him.