Hi there sorry this thread is old ish now, someone replied recently to start it being active again.
Basically I ended it with him when he was living with his mum because I caught him lying about not using drugs, he had even started taking E’s. I guess anything would have done just to numb him. Anyway for the first time I backed away, I told him to enjoy being single. Then after days of me not speaking to him he started begging me to give him one last try and said he would do anything to get me back. He was sobbing, he even went into his mums work crying as he truly believed I’d not have him back.
Anyway that was 4 and a half months ago! He has been clean ever since. I’ve even trusted him on a night out, not to drink and he didn’t! Plus he said lads he knew was doing coke in the toilet and he could have easily got it but he didn’t want to as where would it end?
I go to al anon which has been a god send as it teaches you to look after yourself, something I didn’t know how to do. I attend counselling and we both have started to try to rebuild our relationship with marriage counselling. The marriage counselling has been an eye opener. I learnt we were both in a drama triangle. Where we both took turn to play the victim and then persecutor.
I am fully aware that I can never relax as relapse is possible at anytime. But I’m working so hard on building up myself that hopefully if that happens I’ll be strong enough to just focus on myself. Unfortunately you can’t stop or prevent them from doing what they are gonna do. But you can begin to minimise your heartache.
Sorry I don’t have FB but feel free to message on here x