Hi Georgia, I feel for you, I really do. I do think now’s the time that you take a leaf out of your own book, you’ve given some great advice to others about walking away and leaving them to face the consequences of their own actions, now you should try to do the same.
This will continue to happen, as with addiction “as you know”, they are either in recovery or active addiction. Focus on you! stop texting him! Don’t be there to support him whilst he’s choosing to behave like this. (I know how hard this is, by the way) it’s all to do with codependency. I like you and many others, was so codependent that I lost myself, as my husbands addiction was my sole focus.
My husband is nearly 5 months clean and his behaviour and personality is back to pre drug days, however, I’m always waiting for a lapse/relapse. however, this time if he does, I think I’ll be fully prepared to let him walk. How much longer do we want to put our lives on hold? Aren’t we bored of drug talk? I know that I am!
Please think of everything you’ve been through already, practise self help and even if you don’t feel like it do stuff you’d normally enjoy until you actually start enjoying it again. His ex is always gonna be in the picture, he can’t keep using her as an excuse to go off the rails and neither can you!
My husband used me as the reason he’d use until we went to marriage counselling and it was pointed out that he was doing it to himself, not me! Google (drama triangle) me and my husband were always playing different roles, victim, rescuer and persecutor and so the cycle continued. We’ve both taken steps to come out of the triangle and take responsibility of own own actions.
No matter how tempting it is, DO NOT rescue him!
Keep strong xxx