Hi Georgia
Thanks for your message, it really helps to know I’m not alone!
It’s horrible isn’t it because realistically you know the advice you would give a friend would be to walk but actually doing it is so hard. I don’t want to leave him, I love him and for me it’s not even the relapsing that gets me the most because I know that will happen. It’s what happens when he relapses that’s the major problem – for instance locking me out of the house etc. He can’t do that now as his dad sawed through the chain to let me in but god sometimes I just think is this really my life? And it’s scary.
He promised me that he wants to do it for him and I told him that this is his last chance because I can’t keep doing this. I’m not expecting a miracle and if he relapses then fine I accept it’s likely to happen, it’s more that if he’s not going to engage with everything like meetings etc then I’m not putting myself through it anymore because why should I break myself to help him if he’s not willing to help himself?
I hope you’re doing okay and things get easier for you. Have you ever tried going to a meeting? I know families anonymous have them but there aren’t any near to me unfortunately or I would have tried it xxx