Hi
I’m sorry to read your posts.
If you would like some support for yourself maybe you would like to contact us at The Icarus Trust. we are a charity that supports people like yourself, affected by a partner’s addiction.
You could be put in touch with one of our experienced trained people if you think that would be helpful.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org
All the best.