Carly876 looks like you are doing the right thing by your children so that it doesn’t affect them any more than it is doing so now. Heartbreaking for you though not having your husband by your side.
It looks like the death of your husbands mum affected him more than he let on. Even though you took the weight off his shoulders, his friend probably offered him an escape through heroin.
I too tried to take some of the weight off my husbands shoulders when something happened in his life. But it didn’t work and he turned to alcohol and cocaine to take his mind off everything. He didn’t go to work and when I look back I enabled him by paying the bills and coping on the little amounts he gave me. I am now trying to keep afloat with the household bills and the debt he has left me in with his credit card and with his failing business because he is now detained at hmp.
He is your husband and you can’t detach, none of us can. But you are doing the right thing. Look after yourself in all this and hopefully your husband will return when he comes to his senses needing your help to finally get off the stuff.
Keep strong. I wish you well.