Dear Brand8n,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. Well done for speaking up. If you are ever feeling suicidal you should call the Samaritans on 116 123. They offer a lending and supportive ear to anyone who needs to talk, at any time of day or night. Their helpline is confidential and non judgemental.
Frank operates a confidential helpline for people worried about their drug use. They would be worth calling as well. Their number is 0300 1236600, and talking to them could be the first step in finding support.
Best wishes,