Your situation doesn’t seem too far from my own.
Husband told me New year’s day 2018 that he no longer loved me, this followed a few months of him being out most weekends though I never suspected coke. He was gone a week then came back saying the time apart had made him realise what’s important and he wanted to be with me, we had been in the process of buying a new house which we continued the process of. We moved last April, by July he was telling me again that he was unsure of his feelings for me. He went back and forth before we seperated last August.
Again he was out drinking every other weekend when he did not have our children, when I’d see him he’d look awful but I thought maybe he was suffering with depression. I confronted him about cocaine use last November as knew he had taken in the past though he’d always said it was only on occasion, when I asked, he again downplayed it and told me it is not as often as I was making it out to be.
Around Xmas he again told me he wanted to make a go of our marriage, he appreciated me more now and wanted to be a better person for me and our children. Over the last 6 months he has been away on 4 lads weekends abroad (pretty sure they’ve all be cocaine filled) he is out constantly when he does not have the kids and I am now being told by friends of his that his cocaine use is far heavier than he’s told me, one of his friends said to him I think you have a problem to which he replied “yeah I know, I just can’t help it”. He has now ended things again saying he is just not emotionally invested in this. I’ve since found out that he is now dating a girl he works with 12yrs younger than him (and very much still in the party years of her life) my kids are devastated and he doesn’t seem to care, he’s just become this completely selfish person that I don’t recognise.
Honestly I’m looking for the same answers, does he just not love me any more or does he just not love me as much as he loves coke?
Sorry I can’t answer our questions, but just know you aren’t alone x