Wow,
I never expected to receive a reply. Thank you for your advice.
The only trouble is I’ve been down that route of the Samaritans and talking to frank.
There end solution is always: seek counselling. …
Counselling usually consists of the the therapist telling me to solve my issues and resolving them to stop using them as a vice or excuse to do drugs … yet how to you solve scarred memories with no possible way of rectifying mistakes due to either death or court orders… apart from the old:
‘Be strong’, ‘more people are worse off’ ‘you’re depressed; here’s medication’ …
When I do drugs I talk to randomers about my life. When I’m sober I bottle it up. Counselling I opened up and being sober made it worse and made me worse. – in the sense I had to escape from the truth.
Obviously facing the truth and confronting the problems face on solves them eventually. But how does one even contemplate trying to forget / move on from personal trauma without a temporary escape/ release from it all.
If anyone finds that solution hit me up because I’m struggling here.
I have now added more work into my schedule so I’m not going to be 11 weeks away from home in random houses, air bnb’s and hotels yet every where I go I find cocaine… simply to try and escape my home life reality ,., yet situational based addiction is killing me. I can’t seem to change my mental situation.
So many things in there …
(Have to be honest though it feels so good to get it all off my mind and onto paper, this is a first for me)