So sorry to read what you and your children are going through.
My husband (seperated) has a cocaine problem, I don’t feel like it’s quite at the stage your husbands is, but I can certainly relate to losing the person you fell in love with and having them replaced by a selfish zombie that only seems to care about themself.
My husband cannot see that he has a problem, and I think that in itself will only make the problem worse, I confronted him on it a few days ago for him to pull a face as if I had grown an extra head although he didn’t actually deny it.
I didn’t really get a choice in how to deal with my situation, my husband chose to leave as he wasn’t happy though he has never been able to tell me why he wasn’t happy. Prior to him leaving I’d been aware that on a handful of occasions over the space of a couple of years he’d taken coke, whenever I confronted him he always played it down and it is only since the separation from other people that I am finding out how much more regular that was (it fits in with the fact a lot of our arguments centred round him going out “binge drinking” at times every weekend and never coming home after/being zombie like when he did). I thought he had depression at one point, though I suspect that was more likely a change in mood as an aftermath. I recently found out that he has started seeing someone else and I’m certain that she is far more accepting (if not also participating) of his habit. I don’t think he left me for her, he left me to enable his lifestyle as I won’t do that, specially with children involved.
It’s heart breaking seeing/worrying about the effect this will have on the kids having to grow up with this a part of their lives but all you can do is focus on you and them.
Like I said, I didn’t have a choice as such, but ultimately I would always have chosen what is best for my children and unfortunately right now it is not a life with their dad. It will get easier, stay strong, focus on you and your children and keep giving them the very best you can, ultimately you will be better off and happier and it will be true happiness and not a fake happiness from a toxic source xx