Hi ginger
You haven’t failed
I’m in a similar situation my boyfriend is addicted to coke and he lies and manipulates me all the time. One minute he will say he has had enough and will do something about it but the very next day he is back doing it again .yesterday I came back from seeing my dad who is sick to find he has pawned my laptop for drugs. I am so angry at him. My only advice is to try looking after yourself easier said an done I know but going out with friends will help take your mind off of what’s going on. I’ve learnt that they will only get help when they fully admit they have a problem and really want to quit. Trying to make them get help wont work in the long run . Just know that your not on your own