Hi John.
I stopped 3 years ago. Like you I was on path to destruction. There was no reason Good life. Job I enjoyed getting by happy relationship
I was addicted and couldn’t stop. For me it was chasing that buzz of a drink and if I couldn’t have it I was missing out. Couldn’t have just one, once started would drink until passed out or ran out.
I got hello via GP. Once I saw that there wasn’t a bad thing in my past it was just how I’m made. I went a few times. Gave me the insight in what I needed to do to fix it. I put it off for too long. It’s not easy but it’s better than my previous existence and I am at least well and don’t hate myself anymore. Good luck