I feel like it’s completely consumed my life the last few weeks.
Looking back over the last 2 year’s of our relationship, he started going out “drinking” more frequently, usually with the same groups of people and it was only a couple of months after that he left the first time saying he didn’t love me anymore. He came back after a week and things were ok for a few months and then he started prioritising going out with friends again, baring in mind it was rare he ever took me anywhere!
He left again last summer and since then the majority of his weekends where he hasn’t seen the kids have been spent out “drinking” he’s been away 6 times in the last year (all lads benders) and has no interest in taking his kids on holiday or offering any money for me to.
It was only a few weeks ago that a mutual friend mentioned his Snapchat sniff sessions and I feel like everything is now clicking into place.
There’s been a few occasions in the past where I’ve found out he’s done it (various reasons) but every time he’s told me it’s a one off and I’ve stupidly believed him!
At Christmas he said he appreciated me so much more and wanted us to give things a go, he wanted to be better for me and the kids. And although he never mentioned the coke (And it never crossed my mind) I think what he meant was that he knew he needed to cut down/out that and I think in the last 6 months he’s realised he can’t give up that part of his life and so has ended up ending things again and straight into a relationship with a (far) younger girl who I’m pretty sure also does it or at least knows he does as they socialise in the same circle at work.
His behaviour since then is just horrible, he’s started arguments, accused me of turning the kids against him and even when I’ve told him the impact him leaving is having on his kids and how it’s made them feel like he doesn’t care as he never makes up missed time with them, he still does nothing more!!
I just don’t know how to get through to him, and even though I’m not sure we could ever be together again, it breaks my heart seeing him like this, slowly destroying his relationship with the kids.
Sorry to ramble, sometimes it just helps to write it all down and get it off your chest!!