Sorry to hear about your mum. Do you think you are taking this much coke to numb the pain??
Anyway im doing best to quit coke i cant stand the stuff. Ive not had it for 3.5 week now. If you really want to stop. Delete all your dealers numbers. Social media. Get a new number. Dont drink any alcohol.
Stay away from people who do it. Try and find some local c.a meetings. Ive never been but they do work.
You need to change your whole life around now and routine. Get some new hobbies. Watch louise clarke on you tube on crack cocaine part 123. Shes an expert on coke addiction and you will learn alpt from her vids.
Can your gf not even tell you are on it?
Take each day as it comes. When you wake up tell yourself.. you are going to stay clean for today and today only. Thinking to far a head is not good.