Thanks owlyh x I did sense genuine remorse when my husband was sober and apologetic but it soon meant nothing when he would go out and do the same thing again. I never wrote things down, wish I had as when I am feeling down and sorry for him, I will remember times when things happened cos he was under the influence and my feelings of sorrow are replaced with anger and resentment. Honestly I thought I got off the roller coaster when I left but I feel like I am still on it.
