I was looking at old photos the other day and I don’t recognise the child I have now. The smiling, laughing eyes have gone. She believes the only way to feel happy and excited now is through a drug induced haze. As I looked at the photos I thought yep I lost my daughter long ago yet her shell still inhabits my house determined to replace the good memories with bad. It is like some second rate gothic horror story.
She sent me a text at 4am this morning telling me she was done with the world. When I read it at 8 I believed it was true. I Went down to her room and she’d locked the door so I broke in and she was drunk in bed. I feel drained and exhausted. She staggered upstairs she said sorry for sending the text and then suggested I stop being upset. Of course emotions turn on and off like taps don’t they.
They not what they do……
I’m trying to cling on and stay strong and I hope the rest of you are too. Strength from knowing I’m not alone x