Hi Sprocket,
So sorry to read your post and am sorry that you are feeling so low. It’s really hard coping with a partner’s addiction.
if you would like to contact us at Icarus Trust we could put you in touch with one of our experienced trained people who you could talk with. We are a charity that supports people going through what you are and may be we could help you to find a way forward.
You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck to you.