For the last 3 years my partner (I guess ex now) has been loving in my house. I didn’t know he took cocaine when he moved in, but he couldn’t hide it in the end and would always say he wanted to quit and ask for my support. It’s all been lies, he’s stolen from me, he lies, he most likely has cheated. The emotional manipulation that goes alongside living and being with an addict can be so destructive. He moved out two weeks ago. I never saw that happening and I know now it’s for the best but it doesn’t make it easier. I know I was enabling him by paying off all the debts and making excuses for him. I worry about him constantly but just remember you get one life and you need to put your needs first. Your home should be your safe place and when they take that away from you, coming home not knowing what you are going to get, it becomes almost normal, always looking for signs of the drug use. Please put you and your son first. He will only get help if he wants to and you need to focus on yourself. There is nothing you can do to control their use or to help. It has to come from them. I really recommend taking up the support offered from the charity above. It helped me get some perspective. I didn’t have children with him but I am now thousands in debt because of him and may lose my house because I just kept believing it would get better.
