Please just put yourself first, you’ve not been soft, you’ve been in a manipulative situation and have been trying to make the best of it.
You said you have a lot of support from family so even if it’s hard you will have what you need from them. Don’t try to figure him out – which part of him is the real him etc. You know the facts already and that is that cocaine comes first and until he gets real help and wants to stop it always will. Focus on you and the baby and not what he needs or might need or what you want him to do. He will only do what he wants to do. The only thing you can control is what you do. I wish you all the best. Use the support offered through the Icarus Trust.